Have you ever thought of how are you acting or behaving like during a wedding preparation? Are you highly stressed or not so much? Do you overthink a lot, do tons of work or just relax and chill? Or are you the person who coordinates with everything – venue, catering, program, guests, etc.? Let us see which one of the following are you during wedding prep:
Hands-On
This is the type of person every wedding planner and coordinator would love to work with. The Hands-on types of individuals are the ones who know what they want, and they act on it. They don’t let others decide for themselves unless they trust that person very much.
Hands-On usually feel and carry the heaviest stress during wedding preparations – again, usually but not always. These people may have a lot of things to do and think of, but they know and believe that everything is worth it and will eventually give out good results. Probably, the stress they are feeling at the moment is temporary and is eustress.
Hands-On people would love to make everything as personal as possible. Of course, it is his or her wedding, and it happens only a few times (if not once) a lifetime so you got to make it count. This person or couple ensure that they know the ins and outs of their wedding.
Forever Takot
For some reason, some people seem to be afraid or takot during the wedding preparations. It could be because of the following:
- They don’t know what to do.
- Their thoughts are mixed up already.
- Most probably, they are bombarded with a lot of things.
- They can’t keep their eyes on the prize.
- These people are easily distracted and discouraged.
- They are afraid to take the risk and fail.
- Just because.
It is quite hard to elaborate on why some people are afraid. It is something personal that creeps into their system. For sure, not all individuals with this particular fear like what they are feeling. If they could just do anything and everything to be more calm and composed, they would. Maybe they have tried, but fear and anxiety just won’t let them pass.
Sometimes, this kind of people is also overthinkers. They think way too much, and usually, it is something negative. Though it is okay to think what may go wrong, overthinking is another thing. Who knows, all is well, but since you keep on thinking and attracting the negative vibes, bad things might really go along your way.
Everything Should Be Perfect
As everyone who’s going to have his or her wedding, that person probably wants everything to be at its best, thus perfect. It is very much understood as if we are going to put ourselves in their shoes, and we would also want nothing but the best for our most awaited day.
However, some times being a perfectionist is not healthy or good. This type of person can also be toxic and tend to be irrational. Given that the person wants nothing but the best, sometimes he or she requests too much or almost impossible things! Be it to his or her partner or wedding coordinator, and some requests are just way too much.
What could be worse is when these people are passive-aggressive or just aggressive. If you make a single mistake, you need to prepare for your doomsday. No apologies can save your soul. Why? Because the disaster (or just a small error) already happened, so you better shut up. You need extra strength and patience while working with these people.
On the other hand, other perfectionists are cool. They are very vocal with what they want and do they will do whatever to achieve it. They simply don’t settle for less.
Okay Na ‘Yan
If we already have the aggressive, we introduce you to a variant of passive people. Unlike with the perfectionist, the “Okay Na ‘Yan” are those who settle for less. Whatever you give them or comes their way, they will probably answer you with “Okay na ‘yan” (it’s okay). If you are a coordinator or a partner, you are the one to be unsure, and you’ll keep on thinking if it’s really okay.
Going to the cons of meeting these people are many. Few of which, as mentioned above, as a partner or coordinator, the pressure will be on you. You need to make sure that everything is okay since the person you asked seems to be uninterested. Also, it gives a little heartbreak because the “Okay Na ‘Yan” people look like they are not pouring any efforts and love with the wedding preparations. We know that wedding preparation can also make or break a relationship.
On the brighter side, no matter how passive these people may appear to be, perhaps they just trust their partner, coordinator or relatives so well. It has come to the point where they will ask for your suggestion and go with it. Maybe, they just love the word “okay” no matter how confusing it is sometimes.
Bahala Na
Another variant of passive people during wedding preparations are the “Bahala Na.” For a little bit of trivia, the phrase originated from “Bathala Na.” As we are all familiar with, Bathala is native’s terminology for God. It is similar to telling that let God work or will be with whatever bothers you.
Of course, not all people are aware of the real origin of the phrase and say it because of its meaning. Most of the times, if not all the time, people say it because of different reasons. One, they do not know what to do anymore which makes them stressed and frustrated already. Second, they are tired to think and put more effort. Third, they probably want some force, perhaps the universe, to take some action on their behalf. This is somewhat similar asking some fate to make its move and magically make things fall to its rightful place.
These “Bahala Na” individuals do not equate to lazy people. Maybe they put in much effort prior to that certain feeling of lifting up their tasks to whoever or whatever.
Ako Na
Have you heard of micromanagement? Well, it sounds like “Ako na” or “I will be the one (to do it).” These types of people are definitely micromanagers!
First of, if you are employing a wedding planner or coordinator and you keep on saying, “Ako na,” they might feel inefficient or not needed at all. Why? It is because you seem to do everything and you are not letting them to do their job. Again, they might feel that way if you say that all the time and with attitude. Moreover, if you are working with your partner and relatives, they will probably take your words similarly.
Like what they say, it is not all about the verbal but more of the intonation and action that significantly affects on how would people react to what you just said. “Ako Na” people might be getting all the responsibilities for a different reason and not because they do not trust others. Also, they may not be offending at all since they know how to tell it to others properly.
I Am Not Sure Anymore
Have you seen some movies that revolve around a wedding and its preparation? What did you observe about the plot? Quite surprising, but not so much, is that couples are very confused and unsure especially when the wedding date is just around the corner – and it is very understandable.
Just think about it – in the Philippines, we do not have divorce yet. Also, annulment and separation take a lot of money aside from the stress, heartbreak, and processes you need to undergo. Adding more into that, when we are tying the knot, there is that thinking and belief in us that there is no more looking back. Remember what the elders say? Marriage is not like hot rice that if your tongue gets burnt, you will spit it out. A wedding is a lifelong commitment that we should be sure of.
I believe it is nothing but normal to reflect on your decisions in your life, including marrying someone. But if you are starting to doubt and get the gut feeling that you should not push through with the wedding anymore, it is something you and your partner should talk about. Again, there is some stress and high impact a nearing wedding which can make a person feel something.
And so…
There are different types of people that we know of their wedding preparations. Primarily because we are differently wired as individuals – each to its own, like what they say. We have our context or background, partners (of course), and factors that significantly affect our decisions and actions.
Things might get hard, but we all know it will be worth it. So if you are having a wedding soon, we wish all the best to you!
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